Meditations

It was after the pandemic, around the time of my graduation from university, that I first encountered Stoicism. I had just finished my degree, decided to leave Canada and move back to Turkey, and planned to take a year off to travel through Europe. But then the pandemic happened. My graduation ceremony ended up being a YouTube video, and my plans to explore Europe could only happen “virtually.” During that time, I fell into depression. I lacked motivation, meaning, and direction in life, and I basically spent a year doing nothing productive.

I never thought the answer to my struggles would come from the private diary of a Roman emperor who lived almost two millennia ago. Before reading Meditations, I thought Stoicism meant being emotionless and robotic, even cruel, as if Stoics believed the ends always justified the means. Looking back, that was an ignorant view on my part, and this book quickly proved me wrong.

At that time, I was also struggling with my ego. I had just graduated from a good university, while many of my friends were at private universities their parents’ money had helped them enter. I thought of myself as better than them, and that mindset left me restless and dissatisfied. On top of that, I struggled with anger. I believed my opinions on right and wrong should be the standard for everyone, and I often felt furious at how “stupid” people seemed. I lacked empathy, saw the world in black and white, and my sharp opinions made it difficult to build new friendships while straining the ones I already had.

Why am I writing about these personal things? Because Meditations is written in the very same way. It is not a polished philosophy manual but the private diary of a man who struggled with many of the same issues. Marcus Aurelius never imagined people would be reading his notes thousands of years later. That is why it reads so raw, so personal. If you expect a step-by-step guide on “how to be a Stoic,” you will be disappointed. This is not that kind of book.

What it is, however, is something far more profound. It reads like a manual on life. Marcus reflects on the virtues a person must cultivate to live with purpose and integrity: patience, humility, discipline, and empathy. It is not about rejecting emotions or pretending to be untouchable. It is about understanding yourself, controlling what you can, and accepting the rest without letting it destroy your peace.

What surprised me most was how relevant Marcus still feels. He dealt with a pandemic during his reign, just as we recently did. He faced wars and, as emperor, often had to take part in them directly. We may not fight in wars ourselves, but we all live with the consequences of conflicts happening around the world. His words remind us not to waste time on what we cannot control and not to let these events consume us. This does not mean doing nothing. It means focusing our energy on what we can change and letting go of what we cannot.

One of the most valuable lessons for me was his teaching about people who anger us. Marcus saw them as victims of their own ignorance, people who act wrongly because they were never taught a better way. Instead of being shocked or outraged, he prepared himself daily to meet such people, so their behavior would not catch him off guard. That perspective made me reflect on my own anger and lack of empathy, and it is a lesson I continue to carry with me.

Another lesson I took from this book is that while we should respect those around us, our sense of worth and peace of mind should never depend on their opinions. What others think or say is outside our control, and tying our self-esteem to it only makes us fragile. True stability comes from living with virtue and staying true to our own principles.

I also learned not to tell others how they should live their lives. Instead of giving advice or examples, it is better to live those values yourself. By being the example, you influence others in a far more meaningful way than words ever could.

When it comes to ego, Meditations reminded me that we are just a very small part of a vast universe. We are so small, and things will always be this way. Conflicts will happen, wars will happen, pandemics will happen. It has always been like this, it is how things are now, and it is how things will continue to be. Accepting this does not make life meaningless. It makes it easier to live with humility and to focus on what truly matters.

Reading Meditations did not give me all the answers, but it gave me better questions to ask myself each day. It reminded me that the real work of life happens within, and that wisdom can come from the quietest reflections. At the same time, it showed me that while I cannot control the world, I can control myself, and that is enough to live with dignity and purpose. I know I will return to this book many times in the future, and I would recommend it to anyone who feels lost, angry, or restless, because it teaches how to find strength and peace in the middle of chaos.